


lovebug

by sydvein



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27042643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sydvein/pseuds/sydvein
Summary: nayeon's hopeless.hopelessly in love with her best friend.her best friend momo.but she meets a stranger along the way.and they help her get through it.
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Im Nayeon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	lovebug

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moxx04](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moxx04/gifts).



> the things we do for namo ✊

“see you later?”

momo hands nayeon her bag as she prepares to leave. they see jeongyeon and jihyo walk into the cafe, and momo takes it as a cue for her to go. nayeon hums a reply as she quietly tucks the stray strand of hair away from momo’s face. 

the blonde girl waits a few seconds more for their other two friends to settle down on the empty seats they had reserved in front of nayeon. momo wants to exchange pleasantries first before she runs to her next class. she’s already late anyways.

she playfully rubs nayeon’s chubby cheeks before she finally turns away and heads to the door. nayeon follows her with her eyes as momo walks out of the cafe, and continues to do so until she eventually loses sight of her.

when she turns around, jihyo's already gone, probably to order drinks, but she sees that their notes, and other modules are already set up on the table. she does the same and reaches out for her bag, the one that momo offered to carry for her because the japanese thought it would be too heavy, and takes out her fair share of books that she had borrowed earlier from the library.

just when she was about to jot down all the seemingly mundane information that she needs to memorise for her exams, she hears jeongyeon chuckle to herself. she looks up and the other girl is just sitting there re-writing her notes in her journal looking like nothing has happened. she waits for jeongyeon to say something, but after some time she figures that she’s waiting for nothing. “what is it?”

she finally catches jeongyeon’s attention. there’s a silly smile on her lips as she asks nayeon “how long has it been since you and momo ha--”

jeongyeon never got the chance to finish her question as nayeon cuts her off and answers “4 years now.” the older girl thinks of the first time she had met her best friend/ roommate/ favorite-person-in-the-world momo, and she can’t believe it has already been that long. jeongyeon simply nods at her reply. 

with great timing, jihyo finally comes back with two drinks in hand. “what are you guys talking about?” 

“finally asked nayeon how long she’s been with momo." jeongyeon goes back to studying, a smile never leaving her face "still can’t believe you got to get a girl like her.” 

nayeon was just about to return to studying when it suddenly clicked in her head. “what do you mean i got to get a girl like momo? what’s so weird about having her as my best friend?” jihyo and jeongyeon look back up at her, unblinking. it was jihyo who spoke up to break the silence. “unnie, i’m pretty sure that is not what jeongyeon meant.”

“well if not, then what d-, oh!” nayeon’s jaw drops as she realizes what her friends were thinking. “momo and i are not dating!”

the coffee that jeongyeon was drinking definitely went through the wrong pipe, as she wheezed out of pure shock. she looks just like a fish after taking them out of the water, and it looks too comedic if not for the fact that jeongyeon can't breathe properly. good thing jihyo was there, handing her napkins and gently hitting her back, doing her bare minimum to help her friend not die at that instant. 

by this time, nayeon’s face is already burning and she’s pretty sure her ears and neck are already red. “where did you even get that idea??”

with jeongyeon still recovering from her mini disaster, jihyo was left to answer nayeon's question. but she didn’t exactly know what to say. she gestures to nayeon and the door where momo has recently exited hoping it would make sense but it doesn't. being the debate team president, jihyo wonders why she can't seem to produce any coherent sentence. “but you and momo..”

jeongyeon suddenly butts in as soon as her breathing normalizes, saving jihyo from her dilemma. “you both are just too domestic with each other. anyone who sees the two of you together would think that way. can’t blame us for thinking the same thing.” she stands up and throws away the mass of tissues she had accumulated. 

"we're just like sisters, what do you mean?" this is the first time nayeon hears of this and it most definitely caught her off guard.

"so you never really thought about it, huh? you and momo.. y'know. " jihyo asks out of pure curiosity, making the most out of this opportunity since the topic is already brought up.

nayeon only looks straight at jihyo. she doesn't want to answer the question. and honestly speaking she doesn't even want to think about it.

but nayeon sees that the other girl is still waiting, and jeongyeon who's beside her is anticipating too. she knows she won't hear the end of it if she doesn't give them a response.

"well no.." she answers truthfully.

  
  


"..not until now."

\--

nayeon arrives at her shared apartment with momo expecting that the other girl is already there, but she’s only welcomed with a quiet, empty space. with all the uninvited thoughts that bombarded her mind while she was still at the cafe, she literally made zero to no progress with her attempt to study. she figures that she should make up for that wasted time and continue reviewing while waiting for momo.

it didn’t take long until momo finally comes back home and she sees nayeon drowning in stacks of papers and books complete with the several emptied coffee mugs on their table. nayeon’s attention immediately goes to momo the minute the younger girl stepped foot into the living room. it only takes her one look at momo, with her eyebrows scrunched, shoulders hunched, and a little pout on her lips, for nayeon to tell “bad day?”

momo makes a beeline towards her, and nayeon hurriedly clears out the space beside her that momo gladly takes. nayeon adjusts her position to accommodate the other girl lying down with her head on nayeon’s lap. 

momo simply nods, still with her little pout. but that little pout soon got a bit more intense. it takes a while for nayeon to figure out that it’s because she’s still holding on to a few notes on her hand. and when sulky momo needs comforting, she demands nayeon’s full attention. nayeon doesn’t complain about it though, finds it adorable even.

to wipe the sadness off of momo’s face, she places her papers down and pushes it even further away to make her point. it visibly makes momo’s expression lighter, and nayeon knows just how to completely erase that pout off her best friend’s lip. “want to order in?”

just like magic, a smile instantly forms on momo’s lips. nayeon guesses if “hirai momo” was one of her major subjects, she would most definitely ace it with how much she knows the other girl. 

“how was your day?” momo inquires as soon as nayeon puts her phone down after placing their order. nayeon’s fingers massages momo’s scrunched forehead to straighten it out like it’s the most natural thing for her to do. and momo just layed there still, enjoying the gesture while waiting for a response. 

nayeon suddenly remembers her conversation with jihyo and jeongyeon. she tries to imagine herself as someone else, a stranger who doesn’t know who they are, and tries her best to place herself in that someone else’s shoe. she sees momo lying comfortably next to her, with her fingers naturally placed on momo’s forehead. she sees how there’s a comfortable silence between them and how they can share this intimate look between them without uneasiness. 

she realizes that jeongyeon was right. this is extremely domestic. fvck.

nayeon so badly wants to tell momo about it, but she doesn’t know how the other girl would react. so she decides that for now, it would be best to keep it to herself. “nothing much happened when you went away. we just spent our time studying.” 

momo looks at the mess of review materials on the table. “then why are you still not finished?” 

nayeon hasn’t gotten that far with her made up story yet, but she whips up another lie, determined to keep what just transpired earlier a secret. “you know how distracting jeongyeon’s no-jam jokes are.” momo smiles at that, and nayeon’s just thankful that she successfully dodged a conversation with momo that she’s clearly not yet ready to have.

\--

momo spent the night over at nayeon’s room that night, still too upset with how her day went. nayeon tried to ask what happened that made her mood that bad, but momo didn’t want to explain. tells her that she'd rather not talk and think about it. nayeon knows not to press on.

so here they both are, lying side by side on nayeon’s bed, which is fit to accommodate only one body, with momo huddled closely beside her. her arms are draped protectively over momo’s smaller frame as nayeon feels momo’s steady breath against her neck.

after hearing that revelation from her friends, nayeon suddenly feels weird being this close to momo. her mind is running a mile per second, overthinking the tiniest details about hers and momo’s dynamics. sure, they have always been affectionate with each other. but nayeon never once thought about her and momo like that, never considered the possibility of them being more than friends.

she disentangles herself a bit from momo, creates a tiny space between them as she feels a little suffocated with how close they were with each other. she checks up on momo to make sure that the other girl didn’t wake up from her movements. 

she looks at momo, like really looks at her, and it’s probably not the best idea that she did. because now she can clearly see momo’s serene face up close. 

nayeon met momo when she was still that new timid japanese student. she had watched the growth that momo went through, both mentally and physically. the confidence that once wasn’t there slowly developed and manifested with the way that she looked. don’t get her wrong, momo had always been pretty, but the momo now, the momo that’s sleeping peacefully beside her, with striking blonde bangless hair that suits her face perfectly, nayeon cannot help but wonder how the fvck did momo manage to get this pretty without her noticing. 

nayeon wants to divert her attention away from momo’s face, but her eyes uncontrollably went to momo’s lips. and nayeon doesn’t know what has gotten to her, but her mind tells her those lips look extremely smooth and plump she's convinced it would be the best set of lips to kiss. 

nayeon so badly wants to stop herself from coming closer to momo but her body must've had a mind of its own as she feels herself moving inch by inch closer to where the said lips are. 

just a few inches more and nayeon would've already attained her goal of kissing momo. but just when she's about to close the distance between them, a tiny snore comes out of momo's lips. 

it certainly wakes nayeon up from her reverie, and she feels like a cold bucket of water was splashed on her face.

what was she even thinking? what she almost did was so wrong on so many levels. she was about to kiss her best friend, who was asleep!

this time she completely untangles herself from momo, and looks up to the ceiling instead to prevent any dangerous thoughts that she has for the girl beside her. 

she mentally curses herself for even attempting to do what she just did a few seconds ago. 

she curses yoo freaking jeongyeon and her stupid mind and equally stupid mouth for putting this idea in her head.

she places her hand over her chest and she curses her frantically beating heart. 

she curses this freaking italicized oh moment that she never thought she'd experience with momo, but she does.

_'oh'_

\--

“so get this,” nayeon starts as she slices through her waffle. it’s only the morning after and she’s together again with the same two annoying company that she had the night before. it’s not like she has any other choice. she never really made any other close friends, content with the company of just one hirai momo. but about a year ago, she met jihyo and jeongyeon, her group mates from one subject that she doesn’t really remember anymore. and they just kinda stuck around.

she can’t deny it tho. she kinda likes their company, and momo does too. nayeon figures it’s not too bad having friends other than momo.

the two turn to look at her, already expectant of what she’s gonna say. “last night, i almost kissed momo.”

jeongyeon snickers and nayeon so badly wants to punch her stupid friend’s face. she’s just thankful jihyo is here. the youngest girl has always been the more matured one between the four of them. has always seemed like the only who actually uses her brain. so instead of teasing nayeon, jihyo encourages her to continue what she had wanted to say. “maybe after all this time, you guys were both right. maybe i do have feelings for momo.”

“i can’t believe it took you this long to figure it out.” jeongyeon is now downright laughing. “you mean if we haven’t pointed it out, you would’ve remained oblivious to _your own_ feelings?”

just like last night, nayeon mentally curses jeongyeon again. she feels like she’s being mocked, even though she knows it’s just how jeongyeon is with her close friends. she never hated the other girl though. nayeon is just so frustrated because all the things that jeongyeon has been saying are all facts, and she can’t even deny it.

“fvck you jeong.” she says in jest. nayeon chose to actually curse jeongyeon instead of answering her question.

with her sh*t eating grin, jeongyeon answers back, and nayeon just wants to body slam her.

“maybe later nabongs.”

\--

just when she thought her day couldn’t get any worse, nayeon realizes she has her gym class that day. the problem is, she’s not really a fan of anything sports related. she simply hates using her muscles unnecessarily and she never really enjoyed the feeling of having sweat all over her body. but it’s a requirement for her to graduate so she needs to suck it up.

she arrives at the school gym early. it was a good thing she found the perfect place to wait for her class to start. she finds a couple of old arm chairs, those that are made out of wood, which were temporarily moved there as their university is trying to get rid of them. she chooses to sit in one and immediately notices the marks and scribbles that other students had put on it. a wave of nostalgia washes over her as she traces some of the words etched on it. 

she tries to read some of them, too curious with the kind of thoughts people would want to share with complete strangers. most of them are just those run of the mill curse words, others are phone numbers with corresponding notes that promise a ‘good time’. but what really catches her attention are those random love notes and confessions. even though reading them makes her giddy, a part of her feels like she’s almost intruding as they are meant to be read by real living people that aren't her.

nayeon somehow gets the beauty behind these scribbles though. how it’s kinda cathartic being able to rant and vent out all your suppressed emotions without the fear of getting judged by people who know you. 

without hesitation, nayeon takes out a pen in her bag and starts to add her very own permanent marks on these old wooden arm chairs. she didn’t even have an ounce of guilt when she vandalized the poor old chair. it’s gonna get burned sooner or later anyways. 

after she’s done, she runs her fingers through it and a small smile forms on her lips, she feels like a little bit of load has been taken off her chest.

**feelings sucks**

**\- hotgirl**

\--

“you okay?” nayeon was snapped back from her trance the moment momo catches her staring. she immediately looks away and pretends like nothing happened. 

ever since that night, nayeon has started to notice random details about momo that she had failed to notice before. like the way the other girl touches her nose when she gets embarrassed. or the way she wiggles her tiny baby hands every time she eats something yummy. even the way momo's center of gravity must’ve been located in her forehead as the other girl always trips on nothing but air and her body weirdly reacts with her head seemingly always the first one to fall back.

it’s the little bits of momo that no one would even pay attention to, like how she did until a few days ago, that made her realize how adorable the other girl is. it’s stupid, nayeon thinks. she’s stupid for not realising earlier that her feelings for the other girl had shifted from something simply platonic to this. and by this she means the tingling feeling inside her tummy that she gets every time her roommate gives her the most miniscule attention.

nayeon doesn’t really have any idea how to proceed with this, but wants to be sure with what she’s really feeling for momo because honestly, she thinks she’s just confused. 

but she makes eye contact with her and she earns the gentlest smile that had her heart thumping irregularly against her chest. as nayeon returns the smile, she comes up to a conclusion that whatever it is that she’s feeling for momo isn’t reserved for someone that she only sees as a friend.

“momo” nayeon calls out for her. she didn’t even realize that she did. momo instantly turns to look at her and the hope inside her ignites, and thinks that maybe, maybe this isn’t one-sided like she had initially believed. maybe there’s a sliver of hope for her and momo to be more than just friends. 

_‘do you also sometimes think about us being more than what we are right now?’_ is what nayeon had wanted to say.

but momo opens her mouth and replies “yes, _unnie_?”

that single word alone shatters her illusion. she is, and always will be just a big sister in momo’s eyes. what was she even thinking? she can’t believe she’s being greedy for actually wanting more. 

the confession on her lips is now forgotten and instead she says “do you also sometimes think about how painful it is for worms to have their five hearts broken simultaneously?”

and maybe she should’ve said something else other than her extremely random thought that really should have been kept only to herself. but momo goes to where she is, sits so closely beside her to the point where their legs touch, and like the countless times that nayeon can’t even count, momo humors her.

“sometimes.” momo replies with the brightest smile. her eyes giving off warmth that nayeon had never felt from anyone else.

she can only focus on how she feels heat radiating from where their skin touches, and momo’s so freaking pretty face. and sure, maybe nayeon had already decided never to tell momo about her feelings, will probably keep it in her heart until her dying breath. but that doesn’t mean she can stop herself from falling for the said girl. so nayeon allows herself just that.

\--

nayeon had originally planned on meeting her two annoying friends again, but after their conversation from a few days back, nayeon knows better than to see them and ramble on and on about her hopeless one-sided feelings for momo. the four of them are friends, and nayeon really doesn’t want to make their relationship weird just because she had inconveniently caught feelings for her best friend. so instead of going to their favorite cafe, nayeon had decided to pass out on their breakfast schedule and head earlier to her gym class.

nayeon walks inside and her eyes hurriedly scans the place for the old wooden arm chair from before. thankfully, they’re still where they are from when nayeon last saw them. their school must’ve had the dispatching work at the bottom of their priority list.

she searches for the same chair that she had sat on from last time as she had remembered vividly that it’s the one that seemed to have the best condition. she had marked the said chair. it’s the one with the middle plank of wood missing from its backrest.

it didn’t take long for her to locate it, and nayeon felt silly for getting attached this fast to the inanimate object. she sits down and something immediately catches her eye. right below her scribble, another note was added. 

**tell me ‘bout it :(**

**-lovebug96**

she smiles at it, pleasantly surprised that she got a reply. and nayeon doesn’t know why, but she felt compelled to write back. there’s so much she really wants to say, but she’s not sure up to what extent should she even share about herself. and she wanted to make sure she won’t take up all the empty space on the wooden table. so she tries her best to convey her dilemma in the shortest way possible. 

after writing it down, nayeon kinda regrets using a permanent ink for her written reply. she just felt like it’s such a shame that her utmost secret that she had wanted to tell her best friend first is now shared with someone who she doesn’t even know. but it’s already there. a confession she would most probably not even have the courage to tell the single person that she wanted to tell. she runs her fingers through these six words, and suddenly it makes everything real. 

**in love with my best friend :(**

**-hotgirl**

\--

another week had passed and nayeon had found herself getting up a bit earlier again to go attend her gym class. she almost laughs to herself. is she really getting excited over receiving another reply to her random inked rambles? she convinces herself that she’s not, but the second her eyes had landed on her arm chair (yes, she had officially marked it as hers), she felt a sudden thump on her chest. this is stupid, she thinks, as she slowly walk closer to it. why is she even anticipating a reply from a stranger? a reply that she isn’t even sure she’d get. but as soon as she sits down, a smile immediately crept up to her lips as she read the two-worded response.

**me too :(**

**-lovebug96**

nayeon doesn’t know why her mood just suddenly became so much lighter. or maybe she does. she thinks deeply about it. she guesses it’s just fun to have someone who you can relate to. a sense of bond forming because you’re going through the same thing. nayeon reaches out again for her pen. and unlike the first time that she had replied, this time she didn’t hesitate anymore. 

nayeon didn’t know what to say though. after she had ranted out her real feelings, it’s like a burden had already left her chest. she’s just grateful to this certain stranger, and she really wanted to say that. but at the back of her mind, she knew that as soon as she had said her thanks, this mini correspondence between them would be over. and to be honest, nayeon doesn’t want that. she is a bit too curious with whoever this lovebug is. so she decided on a different approach instead. she writes her reply, and just hopes she would still get a response next week.

**what’s your best friend like?**

**-hotgirl**

\--

nayeon successfully gets her reply a week after, and she thinks it the cutest thing ever.

**she’s perfect. perfect for me :)**

**urs?**

\--

soon enough, they'd already dropped off their codenames, and had amazingly filled almost half of the table with their written conversation.

**stupid. for not noticing i have feelings for her :(**

**thought about confessing?**

**why don’t YOU confess first?**

**touche :(**

**now you know not to challenge me >:)**

\--

nayeon can’t deny it. talking to ‘lovebug’, even though she doesn’t really know them, had helped her in ways she can’t explain. it made her distracted. distracted from acknowledging her feelings for momo. 

she just didn’t know how distracted she got until momo had pointed it out.

“unnie, is there something wrong?” momo just got back in time for her to catch nayeon. it was nayeon’s free day, and she was sure that momo won’t be around their shared apartment until dinner time. and by then, they’d be too tired to even hang out in the living room, an excuse that nayeon had prepared if ever the younger girl questions her. it’s the first time nayeon was grateful that her brain had memorized momo’s schedule.

that is why when the younger girl had walked in on her unannounced, nayeon was definitely caught off guard. 

nayeon hadn’t noticed it till now that it had been days since she and momo last talked, and that her plan had actually worked. she looks at momo’s pained expression and she finally realizes how unfair she really was with the other girl.

“hey mo. you’re early today?” nayeon tries to deflect momo’s previous question. but the younger girl just looks at her dead in the eye, telling her that any bullsh*t that she’ll throw at momo won’t work. so she thinks of a better way to distract the younger girl.

nayeon pats the empty space beside her, and momo hesitantly takes it, quite unsure if nayeon even really wanted her there. a pout uncontrollably forms on her lips and nayeon really, really doesn’t want to even look at it. it makes her weak, like all her resolve would die down just so she could wipe off that pout on momo’s lips. and nayeon doesn’t want that. 

for the past few days, she’s been really good. had managed to convince herself that she can do it. get over momo without the other girl even knowing about her feelings. she’s been really optimistic about it, adamant to keep their relationship the same way as it should be. 

“just felt like we haven’t been seeing each other despite literally living in one home.” momo finally tells her what’s bothering her. and of course nayeon already knows this, afterall she’s the one who had started it in the first place. she turns to look at momo and smiles at her, hoping it would lessen the worry of the younger girl.

“i’m just busy. finals coming up and i haven’t been doing so well.” nayeon lies, and she does feel guilty. but she figures it’s better than telling momo the truth.

“did i do something?” momo asks, and it hurts nayeon in a way she didn't know was possible. she feels hurt with how momo looks so small beside her, so insecure and unsure of what happened that put them in this situation. nayeon blames herself for not being able to just be content with what she and momo have. she blames herself for not being able to keep her emotions at bay that resulted in this, to momo being guilty for nothing.

“of course not, you would never do anything wrong mo.” nayeon does her best to reassure her. 

“then what’s the problem? why do i feel like you’re avoiding me?” momo relentlessly asks, and nayeon just wanted to let it out right there and then. tell the girl in front of her how much she had wanted her and that being just friends just wouldn’t cut it. and because she feels too much, she needs to keep momo at arms length because she’s afraid that she might not be able to keep her feelings in. she’s afraid that the same thing that happened a few nights before would happen again, she won’t be able to control herself again and cross the boundaries she should never even think of crossing.

so nayeon tells momo the first thing that comes to her mind that she’s sure would reassure the other girl that they’re okay, and would successfully get momo off her case.

“i’m seeing someone.”

\--

a few days have already passed after their last conversation, but nayeon still hasn't forgotten every bit of it.

the way momo's eyes had visibly widened at her unexpected confession, and how her body seemed to have immediately reacted by distancing herself away from nayeon. 

_"oh, i had no idea"_ is the only thing that momo had managed to utter. 

_"we still haven't officially met yet."_ more string of lies piled up on nayeon's mouth that she didn't know where came from. and nayeon regretted it as soon as she said it. see, she wouldn't even know how she would support her made up story. no name to tell, and no one to present if ever momo wanted to meet her made up lover.

but momo looked like she actually believed nayeon, and soon enough the pout gradually left her lips, and was replaced with a tight lipped smile. although it didn't seem to have reached her eyes.

and that sole image of her best friend never left nayeon's mind. it bothered her to no end, made her wonder if her mind is just playing tricks on her.

nayeon tried to rationalize everything. maybe momo just felt bad that she didn't tell her the news earlier. they're best friends, they tell each other everything. (well, not anymore, apparently) or maybe momo sensed that she was lying? but that doesn't make any sense. the younger girl would've called her out immediately if she did know. 

so why? nayeon racks her brain out for a possible explanation, but she only comes up with the silliest thought. 'is she jealous?'

nayeon laughs to herself. she's for sure getting delusional. maybe she's already having a mental breakdown. 

she looks down at the table, the one that's making her feel at peace as of late, but this time it only adds up to her worries that never seem to stop as she reads lovebug's last reply

**< /3 kinda wanna see you :'(**

\--

nayeon wants to laugh at herself. she’s really considering this, meeting a stranger she barely knows just because she felt a certain “connection” with them. nayeon never imagined herself to be put in this situation, but it’s becoming clear to her that she doesn’t really have a control on how certain things will turn out. well, if she does, then she wouldn’t have to fall in love with her best friend in the first place. would’ve made her life easier instead of being in this situation where she’s racking her brains out making a decision. 

'what's the worst thing that could happen?' nayeon thinks. 'meet a psychopath' is the only thing that's on her list. she re-reads their conversation, and nayeon's convinced that this person would be far from the image she just had in her mind.

if she ever decided to meet them, then maybe she'd gain a new friend. an actual person whom she can meet normally, like the normal person that they are. afterall, nayeon had long wanted to thank them for being a great support for her crumbling sanity. 

so she writes back and reaches a conclusion.

**friday. 6pm. in front of the main library.**

\--

nayeon didn't have to wait long for friday to finally arrive. she finds herself currently staring at her reflection in front of her full body mirror, still unsure if she had picked the perfect outfit or if she even looks presentable enough. 

a quiet knock distracts her and she finds momo leaning on her door frame. the younger just stares at her with a smile on her lips as nayeon waits for her to say something.

"you look pretty." 

nayeon wished momo hadn't said that. in an instant she feels those familiar butterflies again playing around in her tummy, and the weakness she feels on her knees. she doesn't really know if she likes what she's feeling because here she is, on her way to meet someone else, yet she's getting giddy over the simplest compliment that she got from her best friend. 

"uhh. yeah. first date." nayeon plainly replies. well technically it isn't a date. just a friendly meeting with someone that she somehow genuinely considers as a friend. but momo doesn't need to know that. nayeon's just relieved that everything that's happening coincidentally goes with her made up story. it's probably another thing she has to thank for later.

nayeon didn't notice momo moving closer towards her until she saw the other girl standing right behind her. they stood there in front of her mirror, looking at each other's eyes through their reflection. and nayeon really cannot decipher the expression on momo's face. maybe they just feel weirded out by this. in all the years they've been best friends, they've never _involved_ themselves with other people, never even went on dates. too busy with their academics, and just content with each other's company. they never really needed anyone else. 

but that was before.

momo's arms close around her, trembling fingers gently touch the exposed skin on her neck and fixes the jewelry around it. she rests her chin on nayeon's shoulder, never straying away her eyes from the older girl. 

"they'd be crazy not to like you." 

nayeon offers her a smile to show how grateful she is for the kind words. _'but you don't.'_

"thanks mo." she rubs momo's arms that are still around her, silently telling her that it's time for her to let go now.

when her best friend lets her free, she noticed a frown on her face. she turns around to face her directly. "hey, everything alright?"

momo nods and nudges her to just move and get going. "i'm fine. go now or you'll be late."

nayeon didn't budge and lets her hand stay, enclosing the smaller digits of her best friend. she looks at momo's eyes. a silent plead to open up and tell her what's bothering her. but she never gets a reply.

"we'll talk later." is what momo finally tells her as she releases her hand from nayeon's grasp. 

nayeon lets go.

\--

she checks her watch for the nth time that night. it read 6:56 pm. nayeon doesn't know how much longer she should wait. 

technically, it's no one's fault if ever she gets stood up. too many factors to consider. what if they're stuck in class? what if the last reply is just a result of a sudden burst of emotions and they had never really intended to meet her. it's not like she even got a confirmation from them. and that's where the problem lies. can't really depend on those trivial little notes.

still, nayeon can't help but to feel down. deep inside, she had anticipated this. wasn't able to have a proper sleep, too excited to meet the person who's offered her a temporary escape from all the whirlwind that's happening around her. a person that only has smiling emojis and broken hearts as mental images in nayeon's brain. 

honestly speaking, nayeon probably hoped for something more. it doesn't happen all the time, having someone who just gets you instantly without even having a proper meeting. and nayeon thinks it would be such a shame to let this opportunity pass. 

besides, she guesses it's better than having momo as the object of her affection. would rather risk it with someone new rather than risk losing her best friend. 

nayeon would've given it a chance. if only they showed up. 

but they didn't. 

and once again, nayeon gets her heart broken. 

\--

she comes back to her apartment feeling a little more empty. maybe the universe is telling her something. maybe, just maybe she’s just not cut for this whole being in love thing. though, it’s not like she can ever stop herself from feeling just because she doesn’t want to.

she was about to enter her room when the light in momo’s room turned on, and after a few seconds the door opened and out came momo. the other girl looks at her with inquisitive eyes, curious as to why she came home a bit earlier than expected. she so badly wants to just ignore the other girl and just head straight to the confines of her rooms like nothing had happened, but momo’s eyes never leave her.

“got stood up.” nayeon hopes it’s enough explanation for momo to leave her be. but of course she was wrong.

“want me to be with you tonight?” momo was about to turn around so she could get her stuff, but nayeon beats her to it. 

“no.”

nayeon never intended it to come out too harshly. but she’s just too frustrated with what’s happening to her these past few days, and she just wants to breath. and with momo around, it just doesn’t make it easier for her. she sees the flash of hurt in her best friend’s eyes that momo immediately tries to mask by looking down, away from nayeon.

nayeon never wanted it to be this way. she never really enjoyed seeing momo in whatever form of pain. even before she had figured out her feelings for the other girl, nayeon had wanted nothing but to make momo happy. besides, it was never the other girl’s fault. it was all hers. “sorry. just tired. talk tomorrow?”

momo nods but wasn’t able to hold out her tongue for a sudden snarky remark. “i hardly doubt it.”

it was so soft and quiet yet nayeon managed to hear it. she doesn’t really want to mind it, exhausted with how her day, week, probably month had been, but she guesses she got a bit too sensitive. she wasn’t able to control it when she suddenly replies “and what’s that supposed to mean?”

her tone is now slightly higher than before and it made momo flinch. “nothing. just go inside. you said you’re tired.”

“no, momo. this is what you wanted isn’t it? so let's talk.” 

momo scoffs and it adds fuel to the fire in nayeon's chest. "when did having a simple conversation with you start to become so hard?" momo starts, and nayeon wasn't able to give her a proper reply.

she feels bile coming up her throat, like she's gonna be sick. nayeon just wants to let it all out, puke her guts out, except she only feels her word vomit threatening to come out. and that's a different story. she will never let it out, even if it pains her.

the hostility from before long gone as nayeon starts to feel ashamed that she lost her control, yet she can't even answer one question from momo. she just stood there still unable to utter a single word. so momo does it for her.

"kinda wish you're not my best friend right now." 

it breaks something inside nayeon. it's a different kind of pain that she had never anticipated. she didn't know what to think after hearing that when their friendship is the only thing that's grounding her. it's that sole thing that she had never wanted to ruin, and hearing those words from momo just wrecks her. 

she hadn't noticed that she's crying until she felt the pad of momo's thumb on her cheeks, trying to dry her tears. 

she looks up to see the other girl also crying. she croaks out the softest "why?"

momo bites her lips. and nayeon wonders what is it that makes momo too afraid to say. 

"how could i tell you that you're breaking my heart without hurting you?"

it takes a while before momo's words sink in. and the moment it did, waterfalls just flowed uncontrollably from her eyes.

how fascinating it is, nayeon thinks. one second she's there, shattering into tiny million pieces, trying her best to keep herself from falling apart just from her best friend’s single statement, and a moment later momo fixes her back up just as easily. one second she only sees momo as her best friend, and a second later she can never look at her the same way. one second she’s in love, alone. a moment later she learns that momo loves her too.

how long did it take for them to be this stupid?

she grabs momo's shirt weakly, but it's enough for momo to understand. "sorry." slowly, ever so slowly momo comes closer to her. she rests her temple on hers, and it's enough for nayeon to feel the same warmth she had always felt when they're this close.

"don't do that again," momo pleads. "don't be with someone else." nayeon's lips remained shut, and had only managed to croak out a quiet hum.

"i'm gonna kiss you now." 

momo doesn't really need to ask. nayeon would've given everything momo would've asked from her. but it's momo. her perfect, too good for this world momo. she nods first before she feels the other girl move. a sharp intake of breath, then a soft pair of lips lands on hers. 

it started off with a simple graze of each other's lips until momo kisses her fully. it's messy and momo's lips taste of peach and salt. 

and nayeon had proved herself correct once again. momo's lips really are the best pair of lips to kiss.

\--

in the wee hours of the night, under the arms of her best friend, just right in the brink of unconsciousness, nayeon tells momo "i love you"

everything just seems to fall into place as she sees the flutter of eyelids, a small suppressed yawn, and the lowest voice that she knows will forever be ingrained inside her brain “i love you too, nayeonnie. so much.”

nayeon would never need anything else.

momo stayed with her that night. 

and not a single night would pass by that she wouldn't.

\--

they never told their friends about what happened, even when they decided to meet up a few days later. but nayeon trusts that jihyo and jeongyeon would’ve figured it out sooner than later. besides, they didn’t seem to have a problem working out what she and momo really are to each other even before the two of them figured it out on their own.

and if that’s not the case, nayeon’s sure the goodbye kiss on her lips as momo leaves earlier would’ve been a dead giveaway.

\--

when nayeon attends her gym class that week, the chairs from before are now all gone. maybe that's the reason why lovebug didn't arrive that night. 

it's a bit of a shame though. nayeon would've wanted to tell them the good news. after all it was all thanks to them that she and momo are finally where they are right now - definitely not just friends.

should she have gotten their number? it would be nice if she could personally thank them one day, or maybe if she could introduce them to her momo. wouldn't it be such a great story to tell in the future?

but nayeon knows it's time to let it go. she would probably never meet them. maybe this is just it. they have already served their purpose in her life and she should just be thankful about it. 

she just hopes that wherever they are, they also get their happy ending that they deserve. 

\--

it's another lazy afternoon inside their apartment. nothing really changed much after she had asked momo to be official. yes, she asked momo out. it's the least she could do to make up for the dumb decisions she had made before. they still somehow treat each other the same way except for the excessive amount of kisses that they're now sharing.

with the semester nearing its end, the both of them really couldn't afford to even waste their time and energy going out. 

nayeon's trying to beat her deadline, some major paperwork that she needs to submit before the office hours end. but luck doesn’t seem to be on her side as her laptop soon dies. she immediately makes grabby hands at momo, asking for permission to use her laptop instead.

nayeon opened it up but wasn’t able to access it. she looks at the screen and it asks for momo’s password. wanting to prove how well she knows momo, she tries to figure it out on her own. she had tried everything from their birthdays to momo’s favorite foods, none of the stuff that she types in work. 

with her patience getting thin, she finally decided to ask momo.

"babe what's your password?"

in a beat, momo answers her without even looking.

  
  
  


"lovebug96"

  
  
she whips her head to where momo is, who's busy preparing food for the both of them. nayeon feels everything stop, doesn't even know how to wrap her mind around it. momo comes closer to her with a confused expression on her face.

"bug because your teeth look exactly like bugs bunny.." they both laugh at the explanation. it's kinda forced and momo knows it too. "96. that was the exact date that we met four years ago. june 9th.." momo is now standing right in front of her. there was a pause before she continued what she was saying. there's a slight blush on her face as she bashfully tells her "..and i've been in love with you ever since."

nayeon is crying by now. and it's silly, she knows, but the joy she feels is overflowing out of her. maybe the universe isn't as bad as she thought it would be. because nayeon believes that maybe, possibly, with all the things that had happened, she would have still ended up with the girl in front of her.

she looks straight at her girlfriend's eyes, and lets her tears flow. she sees the way momo's face slowly changes as the gears on her head finally registers what was happening.

and as soon as it did, momo closes the distance between them. she kisses nayeon with all the love that she has for the girl. she kisses her and hopes that nayeon knows how much she feels for her.

their kiss was short lived as it breaks from nayeon's uncontrollable smile, still can't believe how she fell for two different persons who happen to be just one, and it's all momo.

momo kisses her again, gentler and more playful this time, and nayeon just receives them wholeheartedly. her heart just bursting from the rollercoaster of emotions she's having with momo. 

she finally whispers against her girlfriend’s lips, that one thing that she thought she'd never be able to say.

"it's so nice to finally meet you."

**Author's Note:**

> twt/cc: @/veinhirai :)


End file.
